Extrication before entanglement is a valid strategy to protect oneself from pitfalls; I reached the conclusion during a night of fitful sleep. I finally got out of bed, much to the delight of my dog, at 0215hrs.
I walked outside, the cold concrete patio giving me a rude wakeup call through my bare feet, taking away all the drowsiness that I hoped to reserve for a long sit in the recliner in the living room. I shone the flashlight around the backyard, like I always do, since the skunk incident of about three weeks ago.
The coast wasn’t clear, but the green eyes staring back at me from the backyard of a house under construction just down the hill from me forced me to vocalize a bit to shoo off either a fox or a coyote; my light wasn’t powerful enough to illuminate the entire creature, but I am sure it was canine. It ran, and that was good enough to slide open the back door so Ellie could come outside with me and attend to her business.
I’d had a recent run-in with an extremely negative person, and it wasn’t personal; I could tell that the miniature tirade wasn’t about me, but more about them.
I had flashbacks to the job I’d held for thirty-four years, listening to mostly negative things, fixing what I could, but really banging my head against the wall more than anything. I’d come to accept it all as normal, and my circle of friends could see the toll it took on my former bubbly personality.
By the way, that last sentence was hyperbole, intended more to make me smile than you. But, you get the idea.
The bright spot in this is that the following day, I ran into the most positive person I’d met in a long time. I watched him interact with a young employee, patiently explaining things the youth needed to know. And for the cherry on top of all that, I watched the youth soak it in, joke back and forth, comfortable enough to ask a couple of follow-up questions for clarification of the job ahead of him. The employer stayed positive, clearing up the questions with a humorous and positive answer, which came with a slap on the back for the kid. I was impressed.
I kept my mouth shut, for I am trying to be more of an observer now than a cheerleader or coach. For those positive exchanges, I enjoy being sponge-level interested, but internalize the feelings I get from just watching the world go by, some of it pleasurable, frankly.
I’d reviewed the negative exchange with my S.O., regaling the fact that I bit my lip, keeping my smartass comments to myself during what turned out to be time I’d wasted listening to some really nasty negativity for too long a few days prior.
She puts things in perspective for me, grounding me, helping me feed the white dog in my heart on the days he’s forced to fight off the big black dog who seems to be healthy and rather boisterous.
She simply said, “Show him kindness. It was good of you to listen and remain silent. I’m proud of you. I know it takes a lot for you to bite your lip.”
You see, I can be a caustic human when you set me off, especially if I feel trapped and need a reason to leave. I like leaving. Thus, the title of this little non-sermon.
By the way, that black and white dog analogy is from one of my Dad’s sermons from the seventies; I think, now, he told the story for me. It helps me put a face on the feelings I have, making me smile, all the while blaming it on those damn dogs.
Sorry for the curse word, Pop. Maybe you sent that coyote for a reminder, I simply don’t know.
The closing of Art’s sermon was that the dog that wins the most, probably is the one you feed the most, so it was good to have a follow-up yesterday to put it all in perspective.
Nope, it’s not the Sermon on the Mount, people. But we have enough negativity surrounding all of us, so we should try to be the salt, the light, or whatever you believe. I’m not the boss of you, and I have other people that I answer to.
I’ll do better, try to emulate the right people, maybe compliments will work better than complaints; well, I know it does, but that darn dog, you know the one.
If I can handle it, I certainly know how to leave, and I can do that with aplomb. As a matter of fact, I did.
It’s 0418, and time to feed my dog. She’s black and white, adding a bit of mystery to my day.
Be well.
From the Jagged Edge of America, I remain,
TC
Ecclesiastes chapter 4, 4-6
4 And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
5 Fools fold their hands
and ruin themselves.
6 Better one handful with tranquillity
than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind.
P.S. Thanks for reading the stuff, and the support through the BuyMeACoffee app. It is appreciated. tc