A couple of years ago, I had the bright idea of having someone that I did not know, nor had ever met, build me a heavy-duty screen door for the camp in the woods.
From what I could see in his advertisement, he could do anything. He specialized in ‘custom’ doors.
None of it was untrue. But I should have been clearer.
We talked on the phone, and he understood my main concern: it needs to contain the dog(s)when someone shows up at the cabin unannounced. But it also needs to allow the free flow of air in and out, as I like to feel a crossbreeze from the front of the camp (lakeside) to the back of the camp (woodside).
My thoughts were that he would build it with some gridwork in the bottom, just enough to fend off Ellie, or her cousins from the north country, when I forgot to latch the door.
Ellie is not as well-behaved as she should be. She’s stubborn and feels that a full-on rush to the company upon arrival is necessary for proper introductions.
I’ve come to accept the awful behavior, but mostly because I rarely get any company. I am not upset about that; I am a bit reclusive if given the chance.
I am not apologetic about her lack of training; I am just frustrated that she is such a stubborn animal. We get along fine.
So, I ordered the door, thinking it would be a couple of weeks after giving the fellow the dimensions.
He called me two hours later, “Your door is done.”
Me: “It is?”
Him: “Ayuh, she’s some sturdy.”
When I picked it up, it took two of us to carry it to the truck. And it was “some sturdy.”
It was not, at all, what I had pictured, nor what I thought I ordered, but I’d made the deal, and I paid him cash.
Without dissing the gentleman, she is some sturdy, but she didn’t have the aesthetic appeal I was picturing. It’s not really his fault; I should have visited him first and been much more specific.
If you tell an old-school Mainer/woodshed carpenter for a door that will keep the dogs in when company arrives, he is your guy.
No dog, man, nor beast is going to slip through the bottom screen, mostly because there is none.
I figured if I catch a Sasquatch using the outhouse, I can lock him in, if only to prove that a Squatch used my potty. It’s that strong.
I put the door aside, looking at it from time to time, wondering where I could utilize it. I bought a cheap screen door for the cabin and added some structure to the bottom to keep the dogs in.
That door has held up okay, but my buddy, Tommy, a fine carpenter, has been working on new, high-value screen doors for a while. They will fit the cabin appeal that I was looking for, and I know they will last for a very long time. We’ve made do with a junk screen door for long enough.
I digress.
I still had the old door leaning against the wall in the garage here at the Ranch on the Knoll (ROTK in the USA).
It’s sat for two years. Right up until my son said we should use the heavy-duty door as a replacement for the outhouse door.
That’s another whole story. In short, when the outhouse was rehabilitated a few years back, we used an aluminum winter storm door for closure.
It has a huge window, which is nice to look out of when you are doing business. However, it would also allow someone to watch you DO your business if it were in a more public location.
For some reason, no one likes poop when there is a chance that they could be seen when pooping.
Oh, I don’t care, and neither does my son, but ladies are more private. We appreciate that about them.
However, the only mammal that might see you in this outhouse would be of the four-legged variety. I’ve considered it a perfect opportunity to watch the wildlife, and they have returned the favor a few times.
For the record, whitetail deer are not at all bothered by you as they walk by. And the squirrels? Well, they just come right in anyway.
To end this diatribe, I would like to thank my son for throwing a coat of stain on the heavy-duty, dog-proof door and hanging it on the outhouse yesterday.
You can see the old storm door, preparing for retirement, on the left side of the photo, leaning against the aptly named “Camp Poopamunga.”
The new door has great upper ventilation, but the screened window is higher than the head of the average human who might frequent the outhouse. We still might add a shade, but probably not.
No dogs will be getting out of that outhouse door, dang it. “She’s some sturdy.”
Yes, our outhouse has a porch and extended overhangs; doesn’t yours?
It’ll keep you dry if it’s raining while you wait your turn. We are very high-end around here.
Have a great Week!!
From the Jagged Edge of America, I remain,
TC
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