I’m not college-educated. But you’ve probably figured that out already.
I don’t feel diminished in any way as a human. Many people are surprised after meeting me, speaking with me, hearing me speak, reading my books or posts, or getting an answer to a question, that I am far less educated than most people I run into each day.
Oh, I went to trade school, a college of sorts, to get involved in broadcasting, and I was successful. Later, I ran the trade school’s radio station, making sure other future broadcasters had hands-on experience. Many of them are still out there, working in what’s left of “radio” as I knew it. The majority of them are very, very good at what they do.
I’m not taking credit for it; I am only pointing out that, way back when, those students came to me with enough life skills to focus on the next set of skills they needed for a great career.
In those days, a long time ago, each one of them could read fluently, aloud even, with very few mispronunciations, figure out most math problems placed before them, balance a checkbook, and even make change if they worked a cash register.
I have friends just like me; some of them ran concrete companies and built some of the most beautiful buildings in our area. Some are mechanics, bricklayers, plumbers, and, yes, I have a couple of lawyer friends, and I married a woman who is more educated than all of us combined.
Even she, as brightly as she shines, asks me a lot of questions that I can answer. But sometimes, I ask her questions that only she can answer, too. And it all works out.
People probably ask her why she married me, a mope, just as they ask me how, at my level of idiocy, I married her. I get it. I also laugh in the face of any inquiries, knowing that in reality I’d still be okay if I were living in a ditch and eating with only a spoon I found in the Dairy Queen trash can.
I think I am a survivor, but still only marginally educated by world standards.
Heck, a former boss saw how limited my mechanical skills were on the floor of his busy machine shop, moved me to the office, and put me in charge of ordering materials and payroll. I did okay.
Later in life, I became a cop, a firearms instructor, an academy-certified instructor in other disciplines, a homicide detective, and an award-winning polygraph examiner. Yes, people admitted to me that they had taken a life or three, raped other humans, sexually abused children, and some had stolen so many things that even they were surprised they were telling me about it.
One of my books is used as a textbook in a college class—just cop stuff, observations of the humor that is evident in the human condition. I cannot tell you how delightful that can be to an average dipstick.
I will always consider myself just a mope, and proudly wear the nametag—still not college-educated, mind you.
One place where I lack skills is in fixing cars. I hold mechanics in high esteem. I like to watch them work, and I am always willing to pick up a wrench to help, even though some say I shouldn’t help at all.
On my way to help Sammy put a rebuilt head on his old Toyota engine yesterday, I stopped to grab a couple of coffees. The young person who was working the cash register had a very, very difficult time making change.
So much trouble that someone had to come over to help and try to explain why returning fifteen cents to me was not adequate for the seventy-seven cents they owed me. It lasted far longer than it should have, and I felt horrible for the person who was the subject of the kind complaint that they owed me more, and the person who was gently trying to teach the young person how to make proper change.
Now, there is typically nothing worse than listening to a Boomer complain that kids can’t make change anymore, but you hear it a lot.
I am not that guy. It doesn’t make me mad at the youthful apprentices of the world. I am happy they are trying to work, to get ahead, to learn those skills. We need them.
What irks me is that the education system isn’t doing a good job of creating people who can go out and be successful from the get-go. The basics still go a long way in starting a kid’s journey toward their full potential.
Making change, taught, even for a day, a day and a half, instead of algorithms, algebra, or abstract math, can give a basic, employable human a leg up on the competition. Oh, and it’s math they can use on day one. It builds confidence.
Ernie, my manager at Wendy’s during high school, would put the fry-o-lator on cruise control and hold short classes on change-making at the back cash register. He was patient, sarcastic, and kind, and he knew his job was easier if he made all the fresh-faced sixteen-year-olds fluent in change-making from a dollar, or even ten.
I know, I attended the class.
This current system pushes kids to go to college to get the life skills they need to thrive, all the while knowing, clearly, that they cannot read well enough to be successful or do the basic math that will take them, maybe not to a laboratory, but to the drive-thru with mad success.
I’m not blaming educators, but someone needs to be dressed down about this. Maybe it’s me?
When my kid was younger, I demanded he work in retail for a while. I saw he wasn’t well-versed in customer service, probably because he hung around with me too much. He took a job as a cashier. He hated every second of it, but he can make change, read quite well (even aloud), and balance a checking account.
Man, was he happy when I let him return to his own lawn mowing and interior car detailing business. He was even happier in the summer when we sent him to be with his uncle and aunt on an island to help with a commercial fishing operation.
I’m not saying we should revamp our entire system of learning, but the rudimentary system I came up in, rife with problems and a lack of funding equal, taking into account inflation, to what we are dealing with today, turned out some very, very successful people. Spending more is not getting us more
I know we spend a lot on education in this country. I don’t think it’s a stretch to squeeze in some basic classes on the simple chores of life that will make all our students better and help the ones who may never be able to get to college for whatever reason.
What I am saying is that common sense, a little hard work, and the ability and willingness to read directions carried me a long way. But mostly it was the voracious reading habits that I honed as a kid. Oh, and, of course, people like Ernie.
By the way, I know now that the head on that Toyota needs to be torqued to 36 foot-pounds, then tightened one more time with an almost exact 90-degree turn to finish the job. Sammy showed me how he judges the 90 degrees by using two points in the engine compartment, just by sight alignment only.
The car now runs like a top. A couple of lawyers out of Portland, Maine, won’t let anyone but this backyard mechanic work on their Lexus.
Oh, by the way, Sammy didn’t go to college either.
Nothing is gonna change, but it felt good to write this.
Skip hockey, basketball, or baseball practice one night; teach your kid to make change. It’s probably gonna take both of us to make this better. In turn, it could give a kid a huge confidence boost.
Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.
From the Jagged Edge of America, I remain,
TC
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